Thursday, January 21, 2010

Middle School Drama

To my middle schooler, popularity is king, and friends = life.   At the age of 11, she's already begun the early evening ritual of secluding herself in her bedroom to talk on the phone, listen to her music, or do her homework.

All of my kids attend a very small private school.   There are only about 8 girls in my 11 year old's class.   This means that the heirarchy of popularity is pretty narrow.

At the end of last year, THE MOST POPULAR girl in the class left our school to attend the public school.   This opened the gateway for my 5th grader to slide (quite happily) into the top echelon in her class.  She is now 'BFFs' with THE CURRENT MOST POPULAR GIRL in her class, making my daughter A POPULAR GIRL.


I know as parents we want our children to be liked.  (Trust me, I have an Aspie son, and his social awkwardness breaks my heart sometimes.)   But the drama that goes along with THE POPULAR CROWD is almost more than I can handle.  

My concern is not only that she will GET hurt, but that her actions may hurt others.   Nothing has happened yet....I just remember being in the 5th grade (back when dinosaurs roamed the earth and everything was in black and white, as my kids like to remind me).

I recently came across a book series by author Annie Fox (if you Twitter, you can follow her at @Annie_Fox) called "Middle School Confidential"

The books look right on target for what my darling daughter is currently going through (especially the "Real Friends vs. the Other Kind") and I've ordered them hoping they will spur some good mom/daughter conversation.

We can always hope, can't we?


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1 comment:

  1. Lisa,
    Thanks for reminding parents about the very real and very intense pressure on our girls to be "popular." It frequently makes them do or say things that they later regret. Thanks also for pointing out the often overlooked fact that a friendship is a two-way street. Too often we parents hear only about the hurt that's done to our sweet ones and much less often about the hurt our girls may cause to others (knowingly or unknowingly.) My books are written for middle school girls and boys, so they may all learn to make choices that reflect the good heart beating within them.

    In friendship,
    Annie Fox

    P.S. Any parents, tweens or teens will find help at