Tuesday, February 23, 2010

10 Things I Know About Parenting

After all these years of being called "Mom", the things I know for certain about it can be listed on my 2 hands:

10 Things I Know About Parenting:
  1. My life revolves around someone else's bladder and/or intestines, therefore I know where every public restroom is in a 25 mile radius of my house
  2. Within 3 days of paying to have my carpet cleaned, someone will vomit on it; within 24 hours of mopping my kitchen floor, someone will spill on it
  3. If I get down on my hands and knees to get toys out from under the couch, a child will jump on my back and want to play "horsey."
  4. The amount of time it takes to get ready to go anywhere increases exponentially with each child.  One child, 15 minutes; 2 children, 30 minutes; 3 children, 1 hour; 4 children 2 hours, etc.  
  5. Every time I back out of the driveway to go somewhere, I have to pull back in so I can run into the house to get something I've forgotten.  (This is called Mommy Brain, I believe.)
  6. I haven't gone to the bathroom by myself since my eldest child was born....22 years ago.
  7. Clutter is beautiful.  (I keep telling myself this, hopeful that I will actually eventually convince myself that it is true.)
  8. Children will argue. Children will fight. It's called sibling rivalry and has gone on for centuries.
  9. The laundry will NEVER be done.
  10. There is nothing, absolutely nothing! in the world as wonderful as when one of my children runs up to me, hugs my knees, and says simply, "I love you, Mommy."

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  1. Love this post - seems like you have a great humor about this whole parenting thing!

  2. All very true! I am right now on my third load of laundry for the day and no where near done!

  3. Thank you so much for reminding all of us that we are not the first ones to go through this crazy life of parenting!

  4. I think I miss going to the bathroom by myself most. Especially since that could possibly be my only alone time.