Wednesday, February 3, 2010

How Do You Embarrass YOUR Child?

My eldest son was about 13 years old and neck deep into that “please-don't-talk-to-me-in-public-or-act-like-you-know-me-or-even-open-your-mouth-to-speak-to-any-of-my-friends” phase when I was seven months pregnant with baby number 5.

It was a Saturday afternoon, and I was in the front yard wearing a tube top, maternity bib overall shorts, and my hiking boots, carrying a 40 pound bag of compost manure on my shoulder to put in my garden, when my #1 son ran frantically out the front door and demanded to know what I was doing.

Thinking he was concerned that his 'advanced maternal age' pregnant mother was over-doing it, I immediately experienced a profound feeling of love and pride for my first born, and thought he might actually offer to help me.

“Do you think maybe you could possibly work on the garden in the BACK yard today, mom, so the whole neighborhood (translation, “my friends who might possibly ride by on their bikes”) doesn't see you dressed like that?!” he asked me in a frantic tone.

I could have been offended, but instead I smiled at this loving, caring, concerned, considerate child of mine, the one who used to insist on wearing the same Ninja Turtle t-shirt, shorts, and cowboy boots to daycare when he was younger, and I explained to him that God had put me on this earth for two reasons:
  1. To give birth to him; and
  2. To do everything in my power to humiliate him.
I told him I'd accomplished the first, and that I was working as diligently as possible to see that I accomplish the second as well.


Looking to add to your child's home library? Here are some of my absolute, all-time favorite kids' books (you know, the ones that get read over, and over, and over, and over, and over....)

Visit for unique gifts and apparel made from your child's artwork.

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