10 Things I Know About Parenting:
- My life revolves around someone else's bladder and/or intestines, therefore I know where every public restroom is in a 25 mile radius of my house
- Within 3 days of paying to have my carpet cleaned, someone will vomit on it; within 24 hours of mopping my kitchen floor, someone will spill on it
- If I get down on my hands and knees to get toys out from under the couch, a child will jump on my back and want to play "horsey."
- The amount of time it takes to get ready to go anywhere increases exponentially with each child. One child, 15 minutes; 2 children, 30 minutes; 3 children, 1 hour; 4 children 2 hours, etc.
- Every time I back out of the driveway to go somewhere, I have to pull back in so I can run into the house to get something I've forgotten. (This is called Mommy Brain, I believe.)
- I haven't gone to the bathroom by myself since my eldest child was born....22 years ago.
- Clutter is beautiful. (I keep telling myself this, hopeful that I will actually eventually convince myself that it is true.)
- Children will argue. Children will fight. It's called sibling rivalry and has gone on for centuries.
- The laundry will NEVER be done.
- There is nothing, absolutely nothing! in the world as wonderful as when one of my children runs up to me, hugs my knees, and says simply, "I love you, Mommy."
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